Lately it’s been incredibly difficult to find time to write. The everyone stay at home order has affected all aspects of life. Many parts that a lot of us weren’t aware of until it happened. I would’ve thought that having more “free” time, would allow me to get twice as much done, but that hasn’t been the case. I failed to calculate my six year old into the equation. School being out, mixed with everyone at home has altered the equation greatly. I’d forgotten how the talking could be so close to nonstop. Some of the questions asked are absolutely amazing and she has me thinking of things I probably wouldn’t have considered otherwise. Such as, how can a dog ride a scooter? Why is water see through? What are the things that I don’t know? Then, an expectant face stares into my soul waiting for the wisdom to pour from me like a magical chocolate fountain. I do my best. Google helps as well.
I’ve learned a lot about animals with a specific concentration on dinosaurs. One of the issues is that the questions come at me so fast I can’t remember all of them to write down. I’ve tried to write some of it down while she’s talking but then a barrage of, “dad, hey dad, dad, hey dad, are you listening, dad look at me, put your phone down, look at me, listen.” I’ve usually pretty adept at blocking out distractions, or so I thought, but this is a new level of distraction I’m not used to.
I’m now convinced that six year olds aren’t being used to the best of their abilities. They should hire them to use for interrogation methods. After about the 900th, “hey watch me do this!” and it’s just them flipping a lint ball up in the air and trying to catch it in their own eye, anyone would crack. They’d have a few years of pay to put in their accounts to be used for college or starting their own business in the future. It’s a win win.
Here are few of the things said to me just in the last 10 minutes.
1- Hey, did you see what I did?
2- Did you see the villager (minecraft) had on an eyepatch?
3- Dad, look.
4- I’m hungry.
5- Dad,dad,dad,dad,dad,dad,dad.
6- Watch this.
7- Watch.
8- Look.
27-I need to use the bathroom.
28-I think someone maybe put too much toilet paper in the toilet and made the water spill out but it may have been me but I’m not sure. Are you mad?
29-Why is there water in the vent in the floor?
30-Wash your hands since you touched the potty.
31-Why are you sweaty?
32–interlude- sings a made up song for 37 minutes at the top of her lungs, without taking a breath.
33- Help me tie this to the cat
34- Dad the cat bit me for no reason.
35- I hate the cat.
36- The cat is stupid.
37- -New song- doremefasolatido doremefasolatido doremefasolatido doremefasolatido doremefasolatido doremefasolatido
38- Dad, I don’t need a bed in my house because I stay up all night fighting crime. Isn’t that good?
39- -does the pee pee dance while whisper singing doremefasolatido and then gets angry when I suggest going to pee.
40- Argues it loud for two minutes by herself about not needing to pee.
41- Two minutes and 10 seconds later runs to go pee.
42- Don’t worry I didn’t flush this time.
43- Can we go play outside in the woods?
44- My friend at school talks way more than me. He never stops.
45- Will you buy a hat for my goat on this game?
46- Where’s my juice?
47- I accidentally sat in my ketchup.
48- Can I have your chips?
49- What’s on my finger?
9-26 were skipped because they were all the same. “Look, watch, watch me, look…”
Here’s a small list of things I’ve said to my six year old in that same amount of time.
1- yes, I saw you.
2- I’m watching.
3- I am.
4- I don’t know what that is.
5- Don’t touch me with it!
6- Don’t wipe it on the sofa!
7- Why are you dancing in place?
8- Do you need to pee?
9- Put the cat down.
10- She’s gonna but you.
11- I told you so.
12- That cat doesn’t hate you. She just doesn’t like being carried against her will.
13- Ok, fine, she hates you.
14- Then go pee.
15- I don’t wanna go with you.
16- Where’d you hear that song?
17- How long does that song last?
18- This is my closet, you aren’t allowed in here.
19- I’m watching.
20- I don’t have to watch you the entire time.
21- Dads are magic and can see things without having to look with their eyes.
22- Back up. You just spit in my eye again.
23- Don’t touch my food.
24- I haven’t eaten since yesterday and you’ve eaten 23 times today.
25- Don’t lick it. Fine. Take it now.
26- Nothing. I’ll eat tomorrow.
27- I am looking.
28- Yes. I’m looking. I’m. Looking. See my eyes looking at you.
29- That’s the cat crying. Not me.
30- Yes I love you too.
31- Go wash your hands again.
I know things I didn’t know before and I’m a better person for it. I feel like this is not something that is only happening to me. God bless us all because at some point in the future we’re all gonna have to answer for what we are doing right now. Go forth and act to the best of your abilities. Take this time to become who you’ve always wanted to be. Be the best version of yourself and then marinate that part heavily. I’m gonna end this with a chant one of my 6 year olds LOL dolls is saying to another one of her LOL dolls.
“You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit.”
Ok, so…umm. Wow. I felt this with my entire soul. I don’t have kids, but I can still relate because this is the exact exchange I have with my mother when she comes to visit. And I mean this is EXACTLY how our exchanges are with the exception that she sometimes needs help turning on My 600 Pound Life. She then forces me to join her in watching it and then talks through the entire episode. Yeah, I feel for you. I get it. Whenever someone asks why liquor stores are considered essential during the pandemic, I will direct them to this post. They’ll understand.
Hahahahahahaha. That was funny. Here’s to all of us!! Cheers!!
Enlightening 💙
😃