We don’t have much time left here on earth. Maybe. In these trying times there are things we must do and ways we must be in order to keep the fall of mankind (humankind-?) to a minimum. We must adhere to certain necessary elements of life. When the whole world is trying its best to not fall apart, fall down and collapse upon itself, we as humans must remain steadfast to certain laws of nature. Some semblance of order must remain. We have to, and must, remain vigilant during these trials and tribulations lest we forget our somewhat couth ways and step back into a primeval way of life (like back in the 1980’s). If we’re not careful, we’ll soon be living in hollowed out vans down by dried out rivers and fighting North American marsupials for the right to be in charge. Now is the perfect opportunity to change our course. We can improve on what we have now. Please, gather round and join with me to save our planet, to save humanity and maybe most importantly, our sanity.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am referring of course, to the usage of turn signals. If you guys don’t start using them or showing some sort of intent on direction, the world as we know it is going to eat itself. I’m in my bunker sharpening sticks as you read this. I’m gonna be ready with enough sharp, pointy sticks to keep you all away in case you don’t change your ways. Alex Jones won’t be eating me.
When I think of an impending apocalypse, all I can see are unnecessary zombies that came to be due to wrecks caused by lack of displaying which direction they were turning. So many of you will be on the wrong side of history simply because you couldn’t drop your left hand down slightly and interact with a stick on the steering column. This is madness. At the very least it’s gonna make me go insane and I don’t want to go live at the soft house again. Sure the pudding is nice but but all the colors are so drab after eating it.
Honestly, I’ll take anything at this point, but perhaps we should build up to the full usage of turn signaling. We can take baby steps. How about you look briefly in the direction you desire most? Dart your eyes. Wiggle an ear. Nod your head. Roll your eyes at me in the direction you hope to go. Use your IQ fingers and point with a directional grunt. Point like ET when he wanted to go home.
Overall, something has to be done before it’s too late. Between balancing brooms in our kitchens, the renegade dance and not using turn signals the earth is now figuratively (I didn’t say literally: take notes!!) sliding sideways on a slick truck stop restroom floor right towards an overflowing toilet. If you don’t change your ways then we’re gonna be treading in some nasty water. When I say life is what you make it, I meant it. -points finger at everyone that is saving their turn signals for a special occasion-