Don’t try this at home, or anywhere else.

I have a friend, they live in South Carolina, you don’t know them, that wanted me to share something with everyone. From what I understand, around 10:30am, he was sitting in his chair minding his own business when suddenly his wife appeared before him with orders for a task to be completed immediately. She began listing her demands by stating she’d been asking for an hour, which was odd because he thought she was still asleep, and that now it was time. Her back was hurting and she wanted icy hot on it, right now. My friend, being the ever devoted and loving, although sometimes hard of hearing, husband, obliged and did as she demanded, I mean asked. It was shortly afterwards that my friend realized there is a new rule of life to abide by. It was known before, but my friend is getting older and is more forgetful and easily sidetracked these days. No matter how much your wife insists that you apply it now, that you don’t wait, that you don’t pass go or collect 200.00, before you apply the slathering of icy hot on her, with your bare hands, make sure, and he emphasized this greatly, make absolutely sure that you pee before touching the icy hot, and definitely not afterwards. Never ever ever. Washing hands doesn’t help, wearing gloves might but it’s too late for that now. So stop what you’re doing right now and go write this on the walls of your bathroom and then drive straight to the store and buy some ice to keep on standby in case you forget. Write “IcyHot burns” under the Live-Laugh-Love stencil. I feel this rule is mostly for guys but I can’t be certain because girls are mysterious and I have no idea how they operate. I’m pretty sure it’s a mixture of magic, plus 11 herbs and spices, and a heaping of lavender. The burning is pretty distracting so my friend didn’t care to explain and I haven’t tried to look it up so that’s my best guess . #feeltheburngoneworser